supply closet confessions

OK so clinical rotations started this week and OMG you guys I was NOT prepared!!

supply closet confessions

Like I thought I was ready because I’ve been studying nonstop and I know all the theory but being on an actual hospital floor with actual patients is SO different.

Day one I was assigned to the pediatric ward (which hello dream come true right??) and there was this little girl, maybe 7 years old, who was so scared about getting blood drawn. She was crying and asking for her mom and I just… I lost it. Completely. Had to excuse myself and ended up sobbing in the supply closet like some kind of amateur.

study mode activated

I was so embarrassed and convinced I’d already failed at this whole nursing thing.

But then this senior nurse, Linda, found me there and instead of telling me to toughen up or whatever, she just handed me some tissues and said “the ones who cry are the ones who care.” She told me about her first week twenty years ago when she cried after losing her first patient. Made me feel like maybe I’m not completely hopeless??

official hospital person now

So here I am, caffeine in hand, studying for tomorrow’s rotation and trying to channel that caring into confidence.

caffeine and clinical notes

Still terrified but also weirdly excited?? This is what I want to do with my life and even if it makes me cry in supply closets sometimes, I think that just means I’m human. Right?? Please tell me other people have cried at work before…