Why Wedding Seating Charts Are Actually Torture Devices

So apparently there’s a reason they don’t teach “Advanced Family Politics” in wedding planning class.

Why Wedding Seating Charts Are Actually Torture Devices

Here I am, looking like I have it all together while internally screaming about table assignments.

Marcus keeps asking innocent questions like “Why can’t Tia Rosa sit with Aunt Helen?” and I just keep saying “Trust me.”

The spreadsheet Carmen sent is… thorough

Bless his heart, he thinks family dynamics are simple. Meanwhile, I’m over here playing three-dimensional chess with people’s feelings and dietary restrictions.

And then Carmen - my organized, spreadsheet-loving sister - sends me this masterpiece of color-coded seating arrangements.

When you realize Tia Rosa has opinions about EVERYTHING

The evidence of our wedding planning insanity

Do I want to use her system? No. Am I going to use her system? Obviously. Because the alternative is Tia Rosa loudly critiquing Aunt Helen’s casserole choices during our first dance.

Two months to go and I’m already ready for the honeymoon. Marcus says we’re eloping next time. There won’t be a next time, but I appreciate the sentiment.