Assembly required (patience not included)

Alex showed up this afternoon with a coffee table still in the box and the optimistic announcement that “how hard could it be?” Famous last words. Three hours later, we’ve got one functional coffee table, seventeen leftover screws that apparently serve no purpose, and a healthy respect for whoever writes IKEA instructions.

Assembly required (patience not included)

Turns out Step 12 comes before Step 8 if you actually want the legs to stay attached. Who knew? Alex kept insisting we were “overthinking it” while I kept pointing out that maybe we should follow the pictures that show which end is up. We’re both stubborn enough that this could have gone on until tomorrow.

But it’s done, it’s level, and it only wobbles a little when you put your coffee down too hard.

Quality control phase.

We’re calling it a win. Jake walked in during our victory high-five and immediately asked if we needed him to call anyone for counseling. Helpful as always.

Next time Alex suggests we “just throw some furniture together,” I’m suggesting we start with something that comes pre-assembled. Like a rock.