The great closet intervention

Carmen showed up this morning with coffee and what she called ‘tough love energy.’ Apparently Jake mentioned that I’ve been complaining about never having anything to wear, despite my closet being stuffed to capacity. Her solution? A complete closet overhaul.

The great closet intervention

Two hours in, and we’ve somehow created more piles than I thought physically possible. There’s a ‘definitely keep’ pile that’s suspiciously small, a ‘maybe’ pile that’s taken over half the bed, and a ‘what was I thinking’ pile that’s honestly making me question my judgment from 2019 onward. Carmen keeps holding up things I forgot I owned and asking pointed questions like ‘when exactly were you planning to wear this sequined blazer again?’

The ‘maybe’ pile has somehow grown larger than the ‘keep’ pile

The system completely broke down when we found my old nursing school hoodies. Carmen tried to be ruthless about the duplicates, but some things are sacred. Jake walked by earlier, took one look at the explosion, and wisely retreated to his desk with his headphones on.

We’re calling it ‘progress’ even though my floor is currently invisible and I’m pretty sure we’ve created more problems than we solved. But hey, at least now I know I own four black cardigans. Four.