Warrior pose meets guilt trip

Twenty minutes into what was supposed to be a peaceful Saturday afternoon yoga session when my phone rings. Abuela Rosa’s name on the screen, and we all know I can’t let that go to voicemail.

Warrior pose meets guilt trip

So there I am, trying to hold warrior pose while explaining that yes, I’ve been eating enough vegetables and no, Jake and I haven’t set a wedding date yet because we’re focusing on my nursing career right now, Abuela. The delicate balance of maintaining proper form while deflecting questions about my life choices is apparently a skill they don’t teach in yoga teacher training.

Twenty minutes later, I’ve completely abandoned any pretense of exercise and I’m sitting cross-legged on my mat, fully invested in hearing about Mrs. Martinez’s grandson’s new job and why Elena from down the street (different Elena, we’ve been through this) is a bad influence.

Yoga session officially abandoned for guilt trip session.

Jake keeps walking by with this smirk like he’s never seen someone get emotionally manipulated out of their workout routine before.

The woman calls it “checking in.” I call it “long-distance guilt with a side of unsolicited life advice.” But honestly? These calls are the highlight of my week, even when they completely derail my Saturday plans.