Leadership lessons from the firing line

Tuesday’s confrontation with Alex keeps replaying in my head, but not in the way you’d expect. Not the uncomfortable part where I had to call out his behavior in front of the team - that sucked, obviously. It’s what came after that I keep thinking about.

Leadership lessons from the firing line

The weird thing about stepping into a leadership role is realizing that sometimes being liked and being respected are two different things. When Alex was getting competitive to the point of making our newer team members uncomfortable, I had two choices: let it slide to keep things smooth, or address it directly even though it meant an awkward conversation. Old me would have found seventeen ways to hint around the issue without actually confronting it.

But here’s what I figured out - boundaries aren’t mean. They’re actually kind of generous when you think about it. By addressing Alex’s behavior directly, I gave him a chance to course-correct instead of letting resentment build up until someone inevitably exploded or quit. And our newer team members got to see that their comfort matters too.

Processing through writing, as usual.

Alex and I grabbed coffee yesterday and he actually thanked me for being straight with him. Turns out he didn’t realize how his intensity was coming across. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do as a leader is tell people what they need to hear, even when it’s uncomfortable for everyone involved.