Professional translator services

Carmen came over for our usual Sunday catch-up and walked straight into me staring at my phone like it personally wronged me. Three missed calls from my mom and a text that just said “Hope you’re eating enough vegetables.” Which, in my family’s language, translates to approximately seventeen different things, none of them about actual vegetables.

Professional translator services

This is why I keep Carmen around. She has a PhD in reading between the lines of family communications. “Oh honey,” she said, scrolling through the message thread, “your mom is definitely worried about something but doesn’t want to say what.” Ten minutes later we’d decoded the entire subtext: my aunt probably mentioned something about me looking thin in the photos from Jake’s work barbecue, which means mom’s now convinced I’m either sick or not taking care of myself properly.

Carmen’s interpretive dance version of my mom’s subtext

Called mom back with Carmen coaching me from the sidelines like some kind of family diplomacy expert. Turns out she’d been overthinking a casual comment about my work schedule and needed reassurance that I’m actually fine. Sometimes I think Carmen should charge for these translation services – she’s basically a professional at decoding the mysterious ways our families show they care about us.